It may seem hard to believe, but divorce mediation is a seasonal business. There are certain times of the year when people are much more likely to hire me to mediate their divorce.
This is the divorce mediation calendar of the year in southern Maine and NH:
January 1-31: New Year's Resolution #1: DIVORCE! I wish I had more money for it. Christmas was so expensive.
February 1-14: I don't want to talk about divorce right before Valentine's Day. We've made it this far. We can make it through Valentine's Day.
February 15-28: I want a DIVORCE! I wish I had more money for it. We have school vacation coming up for the kids and we've already planned a trip/scheduled our vacation time around it. I should wait a little longer.
March 1 to May 31: I WANT A DIVORCE!
June 1 to August 15: It's summer. Life is good. We're on vacation. The kids are on vacation. We can make it through this.
August 15 to November 9: I WANT A DIVORCE!
November 10 to December 31: I don't want to start the divorce process around the holidays. It will make the holidays awkward. How can I afford Christmas presents and divorce? I can't. Let's just get through the holidays.
And so it goes, for one year after another.
Not everyone follows this pattern, of course, and it may be different in different areas of the country.
What it says to me, though, is that in my region, spring and fall are the danger zones for marriages. It is also a time when preventative maintenance could be the most beneficial.
So, think about your own marriage. When is the last time that you told each other, "I love you. I'm grateful for you because ___?" When did you last have a date, just the two of you, or some other form of quality time? When is the last time that you gave each other gifts? When is the last time that you and your partner did something nice for each other - some act of service? When is the last time that you were affectionate (G rated) with your partner?
What is one thing that you could commit to doing each week in your relationship for the month of October?
What will you commit to doing to get you through the divorce danger zone?