My husband and I process change in different ways.
I am, in many instances, an early onset change adopter. I love change. I love to learn from it. I enjoy stepping into the chaos and finding my way to navigate through it.
My husband, on the other hand, hates change. He backs into it, kicking and screaming. He likes routine. He will always choose the devil he knows over the devil he does not know.
We are currently in the process of moving. We have sold our condo, moved to an apartment, and are looking for our next home to own. This change is a big one and has triggered many conversations about how we process change.
As the early onset adopter of change, I have had to abandon my timetable. I have found a vast number of potential options for us, none of which have been acceptable to my husband. There is a lot that, for me, can be good enough.
As the person who hates change, he has had to abandon his timetable. Things have happened very quickly as far as he is concerned. He has found us a couple of options. Each seems tied to the past in some fashion - there is something about each of the places that is a link to a devil we know, rather than one we do not, and I have nixed each one.
When you are in a relationship and processing change at different speeds, it can be very challenging. You need to keep the lines of communication open. You will likely each need to abandon your view of how it should happen, and instead focus on how it can happen. How can you move forward as a couple through the change?
If you are the earlier adopter of change, what can you do to assuage the fears of the other person around change? Do you even know what those fears are? Have you asked how you can help with them?
If you are the person who is resistant to change, what can you do to take one small step forward? Just one step. And then another. Your partner will want to be assured that you can move through this change, and may have some fears that you will become stuck somewhere in the process. What can you do to assuage your partner's fears in that regard?